Does this ever happen to you?

You take a bite of something containing Swiss cheese, and think “Huh, something tastes weird and I don’t like it…oh, it’s Swiss cheese. Okay. That’s fine.”

You’ve thought for a long time…like since you stopped growing…that your feet were a size 7 ½, only to discover that your feet might actually be a size 7. Subsequently, shoes start fitting much better.

The idea of the larger, attached toothpaste cap seems appealing, but in truth, the toothpaste seeps out and gums up the entire cap defeating it’s entire purpose.

All you want in the entire world is a sweet potato for dinner.

Sometimes, when you want to calm yourself, you think back to the book order forms of 3rd grade that offered new books at reasonable prices, AND if you reached a certain minimum you’d also receive a large poster of a kitten.



It seems like a good idea to try the monkey bars are the playground on the corner, but it merely reminds you of your sorry state of physical fitness.

You’re lying in bed and the window is open a crack. The cooing of the pigeons begins around 6am. It filters into your dreams until you begin to fear the pigeons are surrounding your apartment inpreparation for their impending attack.

You play the 3 Strikes game with parking meters: you don’t feed the meter 2 times, which means you HAVE to feed the meter the 3rd time, or you’re certain to get a ticket. Logical.

You observe and are then bothered by the obvious way Hyundai designs cars to look like recent models of the Honda Accord and Toyota Corolla.

Vacuuming gives you an enormous sense of accomplishment.

Me neither.